Should leaders always tell the brutal truth, even if it hurts feelings?
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.
We hear so much about how important honesty is in leadership,
But, what about the impact of that honesty?
Recently, I had to listen to a client relate her story of being ‘criticized’ by her manager. “She raked me over the coals, Daisy, and am ready to quit”, she told me.
As her story unfolded, it became clear that her manager had a point. She was supervising one of her former peers and was struggling to break free from ‘being a friend’ to managing. Her staff noticed and complained.
While my client acknowledged the situation, she had a problem with how the feedback was delivered.
Sure, the truth hurt, but it didn’t motivate my client, and it left her questioning her abilities.
Honest feedback, or ‘constructive criticism’ is important; that’s how we learn and grow. But it depends on how it’s given. If it’s delivered with empathy, it can be so much more effective.
Which is why I tell clients who are managing people to try this approach:
Before delivering tough feedback, try the “sandwich” approach: start with something positive, then share the constructive criticism, and finish with another positive note. This way, you’re more likely to be heard and understood, rather than putting up a defense.
You need to balance being candid with being compassionate.
You can be honest without being harsh. The goal should be to uplift and guide, not to crush spirits.
What’s your take on this?
